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World Cup: USA Crushed by Second-Rate Bicycle Country on Biden’s Watch

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Trigger Warning: This article contains graphic depictions of a meaningless international soccer competition that most of our readers will find offensive and disturbing. Please proceed with caution.

What happened?

The United States soccer team was eliminated from the World Cup on Saturday after losing 3-1 to the Netherlands, a second-rate European country best known for its bicycles, tulips, potheads, and prostitutes.

Does it matter?

Not really, but it’s yet another example of the United States suffering an egregious humiliation on President Joe Biden’s watch. By contrast, former president Donald Trump worked hard to restore America’s dominant position in the world of sports.

Is losing 3-1 in soccer really that bad?

Yes. It’s the numerical and moral equivalent of losing a football game by a score of 54-19, or losing a national election to Hillary Clinton.

Is it really that hard to score a goal in soccer? 

It shouldn’t be. These so-called athletes are supposed to be the best in the world, hence the name of the meaningless tournament. One of the Dutch team’s goals was scored by a player named Daley Blind, who is listed at 5’11” and 159 lbs.

If America is so bad at soccer, should it still be considered a sport? 

Great question. Probably not.

Editor’s Note: The Free Beacon’s decision to report on the World Cup does not in any way constitute an endorsement of soccer, a fundamentally evil and anti-American enterprise. 

The post World Cup: USA Crushed by Second-Rate Bicycle Country on Biden’s Watch appeared first on Washington Free Beacon.

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